Do I?
by Indy Organa
Summary: House is ready to marry Dominika when he sees Cuddy out of the corner of his eye. A fix-it fic for Fall From Grace. Huddy.


**A/N-** Hello again Huddy fans! Here's a little fix-it fic for the episode we all love to hate, Fall From Grace. Once again my thanks go the House fandom on tumblr and twitter, and especially to Sammie who puts up with my 50 drafts and self despair. I'm a few drinks in so this is obviously the best time to just get this published Please enjoy!

"I do!"

Dominika smiled up at House as he slid the golden wedding band onto her finger, but House's eyes were drawn to a flurry of movement- Cuddy had turned away, heading down the hallway towards the bedroom. He watched her go, catching Wilson's disapproving look.

Cuddy couldn't handle it anymore. Seeing him with that _woman_ , seeing her say those words, seeing him put a ring on her finger. This was the final straw, and she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her pain.

Entering the bedroom she moved aside the pile of coats and sat on the side of the bed. _Her_ side of the bed, at least when they were together.

With tears pricking the corners of her eyes she looked around the room, a room she had come to know so well from the comfort of House's arms.

She ran a hand along the thick cotton sheet, sighing as she remembered the feeling of those sheets against her back as she slept with House lightly snoring next to her.

She was leaning over to press her face into his pillow when she caught the scent of strange perfume and recoiled. Had...had _she_ been sleeping in here? Had she been curled up in his embrace? Where Cuddy _should be_?

A tear finally broke free and ran down her cheek as her breath caught in her throat. As she'd told Wilson, she still loved House… and she thought House still loved her. _So much for that,_ she thought morosely, since he's now out there marrying that _whore._

At the same time that Cuddy was sitting down on his bed, tears rolling down her cheeks, House was staring into Dominika's eyes and half listening to Chase's voice.

"And do you, Gregory House, take this woman…"

His eyes left Dominika's to stare at the hallway, as if willing Cuddy to appear. Honestly, he hadn't believed she would show up at all, and if he was honest with _himself_ , he knew the pain this was causing her.

"...to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Dominika's hand squeezing his brought his attention back to the moment, but as he opened his mouth the words caught in his throat. He knew, he just _knew_ , that right now Cuddy was in his bedroom, most likely crying, because of _him_. She'd been beaten down but he just kept the blows coming. Wilson was right, he was being an utter sadist when it came to her.

And was that really the way to treat the woman he _loved?_

It hit like one of his epiphanies. _He still loved her_. He was hurting, sure, but so was she. And he sure as hell wasn't making things easy on her. One of them needed to take the first step, and he knew it would never be her. If there was ever the moment to prove to her the kind of man he _could_ be, now was it.

"I...I can't." His voice was soft, and he met Dominika's confused eyes. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

He turned to Foreman, who was standing there stunned, taking back his cane and limping through the crowd in his living room.

Chase turned to Foreman, who finally sighed and dug in his pocket, passing the cash to him.

House made his way down the hall and stopped in the doorway to the bedroom, watching Cuddy's shoulders shake as she cried with her back to him.

"I'm fine, Wilson," came Cuddy's broken voice, not recognising the steps as House's, "go back out there and watch him throw everything we had away on some whore."

"Hey that's my fiancee you're talking about." House tried to crack wise, his tone falling flat as she turned to face him, tears tracking down her cheeks and pain clear in her eyes.

"Please...leave me alone." Her voice is so soft, so broken. He feels it pierce his heart, realising again how cold he's been to her.

"Cuddy...I...I couldn't do it. I couldn't - can't - do this to you." His voice is nearly as soft as hers, his head hanging.

"It seems like you've had no problem moving on from me." Her voice was quiet but the words had venom- and he deserved it.

"Christ Cuddy, I had no choice! I made a mistake, one mistake, and you threw everything away and then...then you acted like I was nothing more than something under your shoe."

"No choice? House, you had every choice, and you picked the one to hurt me _every time_. I needed you, you took vicodin. Yes, I broke up with you, but I had to protect myself, protect Rachel…"

"What, you think a one-time relapse means I'm going to go off the deep end…"

"You did! You went off the deep end in _every way_ , House! The binge, the hookers...Wilson told me you jumped off a balcony for god's sake...I thought you'd _kill_ yourself…"

"I wanted to."

Cuddy froze, her mouth open. House stared at the floor, his blue eyes clear and haunted.

"I wanted to die, Cuddy. I hoped I'd overdose, I hoped I'd miss the pool when I jumped...I just...I felt like I had nothing to live for without you."

Cuddy watched his eyes.

"You seemed to recover pretty quickly when _she_ came along."

"Don't you realise by now that everything is a distraction for me? That's all she is, a distraction. A distraction from how hurt and alone I feel without you." His voice was still soft, sounding almost defeated. Cuddy felt her heart breaking for him.

"I hurt too, House. That seems to be the only thing we do, is hurt each other."

His eyes came up to meet hers, and Cuddy saw they were rimmed with tears. "And we love each other."

"Really House? Because this doesn't feel like love. This feels like...like sadness, desperation, pain."

House limped over to the bed, sitting beside her, facing her, open and honest. It took everything in him to not reach out to hold her.

"I still love you Cuddy."

"I want to love you, House. But…"

"You don't know if you can?"

Cuddy nodded but said nothing. He gently touched her arm, his fingers brushing her skin. Cuddy felt her skin shiver under his touch. Oh how she missed his touch.

"Why can't we...work through this? Put this pain and madness behind us...try again?"

Still silent, Cuddy nodded before leaning into House. Their embrace is hesitant, almost scared. They sat for a few minutes before Cuddy pulled back.

"If we're going to do this… we need stability House, for us, for Rachel... you need to get help. Go back to Nolan, find a new therapist, anything. You need help and you're going to get it. We're going to get you clean, and you're going to tell that…that _woman…_ she needs to go."

House nods, his hand still gently stroking her arm, his eyes locked on hers.

"God I've missed you Cuddy."

The crowd in the lounge room are awkwardly standing around, some softly speaking. Dominika stands by the fireplace pouting, until Wilson announces he's going to see what's going on.

Making his way down the hall quietly, he tries to catch any conversation between House and Cuddy. Reaching the bedroom door, he glances in and smiles.

On the bed House has his arms around Cuddy, and they're locked into a kiss. It's soft, gentle, a promise of things to come. Wilson retreats and informs the guests that the wedding is cancelled, silently thanking whatever deity that has bought House and Cuddy back to each other.


End file.
